Tuesday, March 26, 2013

When I Listen

This is a drawing my daughter did of our family. Left to right is me, my two lovely children and their dad. My expression seems to be one of concern. I don't honestly believe my daughter intended to draw my frantic look, but it definitely mirrors the feelings of my heart lately.

 photo EmilysFamily.jpg

I shared with a dear friend a prayer request for her to pray that God show me how I can have more time in my life to do the things I truly feel He is calling me to do. She shared some truly inspiring words and advice which moved me to tears. She is a bold prayer warrior and has taught me how we should not water down our prayers to God. He is the Almighty God, and we should never think anything we might ask of Him is too much. There is no too much for God.

And so I prayed and I pray giving Him my time at work, my time at home, my travel time... my life. Just as my friend said, I ask Him to shake me, stir my life and throw away all the things that are taking up my time that do not and will not bring Him glory. Move me, God, as I lay prostrate before you with all that I have.

I listen. I listen for His voice, for His word.

When I listen He fills my email inbox with Rick Warren's Daily Hope telling me to come to the end of myself. I hear him share A.W. Tozer's quote, "The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We are still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us."

When I listen He sends the daily spiritual reflection from my employer to read;


We can get overwhelmed by information from the Internet, television, radio, print media, and too much noise from well-meaning friends. Granted, not all of it is bad news, but even when the reports are good, it feels like an onslaught. My brain is stuffed to the headache level. And none of this takes into account my personal worries about job, family, finances, and health. My mind needs a rest. But it never turns off.

Talking to friends sometimes ramps up the monkey-mind. Therapists and spiritual directors are good listeners. I talk to God, but the conversation stays in my head.

That is when my journal is the best respite. When I write my prayers of personal concern, my mind releases the burden of carrying all the weight. I write a personal letter to God, and now my mind is clear because I can wait for God's answer. When I stop talking, God can then get a word in...and that word can be comforting.

When I listen I realize He is always right there, just beyond all the noise that I allow to fill my life. He is right there waiting, and the only thing between God and me is what I put there. 

3 comments:

  1. I'm sure there are many women in your situation who are trying to juggle work, home, children, husband...hopefully not in that order. Aside from our faith, or maybe as part of our faith, the most important thing we will ever do in life is to raise godly children, and that can't be done on the run. I trust that you are nurturing your soul (which it sounds like you are) so that you can be a blessing to your husband and children.

    This is coming from a heart that has a deep concern and empathy for the struggles and battles families face in our culture today.

    Mary Alice

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    1. Oh yes, how it seems today's families have so many struggles and are pulled in so many directions! Fulfilling God's calling as wife and mother is a very real and weighted challenge for women today. I look forward to the day I am able to homeschool my children, and yes, until that time, I use every opportunity to prepare the ground of their tender souls for the day God knocks on their heart's door. Thank you for your sweet words, Mary Alice.

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  2. Hi Jen, what an excellent post, I love how you ended it...the only thing between God and I is what I put there.It sounds to me like you are on the right track ,keep listening to the spirit and remember to live in the NOW and glorify God while you're waiting for the next step.

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